if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
