How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just had sex bonerless
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
