I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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