i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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