U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
