I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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