i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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