i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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