I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
