There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
