I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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