third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
