turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
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