butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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