Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
