Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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