he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
