We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
