She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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