only if we run a train.
done.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I got inside last night via doggy door
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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