yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
