He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
