His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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