I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
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We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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