Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
