I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We're using joints as your birthday candles
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
