Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm sobbing to NWA
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
