I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
