So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
