im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
