You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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