It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
