i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize