I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize