My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
