I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
