lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
