he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
