I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
