the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
