Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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