I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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