Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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