i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
