Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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