yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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