A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
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So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
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I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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