i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
