I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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