Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
