Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Is Oprah even human
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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