She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
