I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
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Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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