When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
