I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
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she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
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You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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