true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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