I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
birth control should be required to get into college
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
