he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
