something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
