love makes seman taste better
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
