ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
