We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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